Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Types of Computer Women
Virus Woman
She installs in your apartment and play the boss. If you try to uninstall, you loose some stuff.
If you don't, you'll loose everything.
Internet Woman
You have to pay to have access.
Server Woman
Always busy when you want her.
Windows Woman
You know that she have many bugs, but you can't live without her.
Macintosh Woman
Attractive, almost perfect, costs more money, but not so compatible with others. Only 5% of men have the pleasure to get her.
PowerPoint Woman
She’s ideal for party presentations, business meals, etc.
Excel Woman
They said that she knows many things, but you have her only for basic things.
Word Woman
Always she waits you with surprises and there is nobody can understand her.
The duck and the lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in Newfoundland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
The old farmer Garge replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'
The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial lawyers in Toronto and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.'
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Newfoundland . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Tree Kick Rule'?'
The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on me land, I get to go first. I kick you tree times and then you kick me tree times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pad.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.'
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.'
Monday, May 21, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
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